Tag Archives: Sedition

Curtains for Dunedin City Council ? *gulp —October elections [grey area]

Received. [spoof or sting] . . . . . w o r r i e d
Thu, 2 Jun 2016 at 8:20 a.m.

mickey_mouse___take_a_bow__by_melmike_threadless-d5ynfw5 [all-comic.com][all-comic.com]

Urgente: Annoucemente’

The first June meeting will be held on the first of June, the first.

Minutes: Of the last meeting.

“Cull de Mare”

OK Good Idea!

Agenda: Item 22, Delete Item 21- Agreed unanimously or unani(kleinefieldmausly) as you would.

The Question:

Is there a wait for Meals on Wheels?

No not only is there no weight, but also no taste, no colour, no nutrition and no hope of any for 15 years and lets hope no right of renewal!

Question Der:

Postulate: In a letter received Tuesday last, a Miz Dr, Prof. Mc El Hone suggested that the main reason for de sea level rise is now steam.

Steam is gumming up the atmosphere and so the cold weather we have been receiving lately is now unable to get away causing bloody cold weather now described as “Global Cooling”.

Dr Professor Earl, Count and Pons Hagfish, the owner of a large number of scenic hotels in de districk and manager of a number in serious question in de Pacific has written and questions the Comite’ thus: My business is suffering, all of my marketing and advertising has been geared towards the concept of Dunedin and the Peninsula as the new Sunny Gold Coast. Sunny because of the “Global Warming” mantra and Gold coast because the expected sea level rise would take the shoreline to Clyde, the Shotover river and Bendigo abandoned goldfields!

Now your Comite’ is debunking the sea level rise as a giant furphy and that the climate is actually so cold as to suggest “Global Cooling” I am now forced to market Dunedin, as in the past, a place where refrigerators are not required, a meat safe will do!

This is a huge capital saving for Scenery hotels, as we do not have to place a minibar in each room and if we leave out the window glass the meat never defrosts! Wines are cold and at room temperature of -20 degrees, no ice machine is necessary.

There are some problems however.

Patrons are found frozen stiff in the hallway and in the foyer. Ice skates are necessary for trips to the car park. Chains are necessary on delivery trucks and cabs to and from the airport. The planes have skis and the pilots wear balaclavas.

In order to improve this I have a very important and well considered plan to eliminate “global cooling”.

M’sieur Rollande de Gurgelars, VC and Public bar, International medaille D’ore, Croix de G.U.R and house bar stands with open hands and speaks.

M’sieur de Hag-fish, your commente’ is much desired, your wisdom and more importantly your desire for a quid are legionarre’s disease throughout Aotearoa.

Please sally forth and unburden yourself.

Hag-Fish replies, Le Comte, Sally was the fifth, not the fourth, but not to worry, I will commence from the finish.

We the Secenery Circle propose that a law be imposed, firstly on all households in the greater Dunedin area including Kate Wilson’s fiefdom and Cr Noone’s rurality, Cr. Hall’s trucks and Mayor Cull’s uncleaned mudtanks, to ban, eradicate, censure, drop off the perch and if necessary obliterate and immolate all items which could be roughly described as Kettles.

Kettles will include any item capable of boiling water to steam, whether working operational or not! This includes but is not limited to Railway Steam Engines, Pots, Pans, Kettles, Hot Water cylinders, Zips, Teesmade, Coffee machines, Lawrence Yule and headmasters.

Headmasters?

Oui, they are always letting off steam, particularly the dean of Kings High.

In this way, we believe that the absence of steam will enable the cold air around Dunedin, Christchurch, Wellington and Auckland to escape and we can get back to comfortable “Global Warming” and Dunedin can be the Riviera of the southern hemisphere again, just like it was in February. Our marketing campaign featuring bikini clad sealions, brown skinned natives, (cabbage) Palm trees, Coconuts etc. will again be relevant and we can turn on the air conditioning at Forsyth Banned to ensure noone dies of heatstroke!

Is Cr. Noone dying of heatstroke?

No not now, that is the problem we are trying to rectify!

Le Comte, rises, thanks Earl Hag-Fish and whispers into his Iphone to Craig’s Investment partners ….

Sell Briscoes! Sell Coffee Club, Sell Starbucks.

Pam Demonia reigns.

The Curtain comes down.

[ends]

Related Posts and Comments:
18.5.16 Measuring sea level at Dunedin #DUD
1.5.16 Hospital food according to Gurglars
25.2.16 CELEBRATE !!! Greater Dunedin has DIED #boombustcycle
11.1.16 Un hôtel. Dunedin.
5.6.15 WEATHER is not climate change; this is not the 100-year flood

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

Election Year —this post is offered in the public interest.

black curtain question [clockhousetheatre.com][clockhousetheatre.com]

█ In a spot . . . . .

2 Comments

Filed under Democracy, Dunedin, Economics, Finance, Health, Heritage, Hot air, Hotel, Housing, Infrastructure, LGNZ, New Zealand, People, Pet projects, Politics, Project management, Property, Public interest, Stadiums, Tourism, Travesty, What stadium

Hospital food according to Gurglars

Late this afternoon whatifdunedin briefly visited Gurglars at Dunedin Hospital and within that time was able to confirm it was indeed he in an HD bed; that he comes with iPhone and iPad – we are now with photo evidence [loading]. Gurglars is in fine fettle for one poised to miss duck shooting season.
Whatiffers, join with us (telepathy will do!) in sending Best Wishes for Gurglars’ full recovery. The truth is he went mushrooming at Otakou yesterday —in so doing he suffered a calamity, meaning he missed out on fresh wild mushrooms, too. Gourmet horror!
Twas very nice to meet the gentle spy and seditionist Gurglars.

REPORT 1 (Dunedin Hospital)

Received from Gurglars
Sun, 1 May 2016 at 1:04 p.m.

My recipe for filet de boeuf cordon rouge is a hit and my pumpkin soup brought me to Dunedin, I have dined on Vongole regularly and whilst some call me a gourmand I consider myself a gourmet!

So you can take my take on the SDHB food without a grain of salt or you can believe the photographs. [to come once technology sorted. -Eds]

I am unable to compare today’s food with the previous system because it is 30 years ago that I last ate it.

However my impressions of the Dunedin Hospital, the St John’s ambulance crew and the triage care has really opened my eyes to the dedication, work ethic and skill of the Hospital surgeons, doctors, nurses and carers that work here/there. An unquestionable 10/10 for every one of them.

However this is a food critique and I now know how Compass intend to make savings.

Emergency Department tucker

Dinner – small bowl of soup, palatable but made from a soup mix – 1 sandwich fresh but an unlimited use-by date, small in size, ham one slice, boiled egg part of – tea with milk.

Soup for dinner- half mast and PAP
Hospital food IMG_1205 soup for dinner [Gurglars 1.5.16]

Breakfast – two slices of dry well cooked toast, butter and marmalade in sachets, not enough to cover toast – tea with milk.

Lunch – smaller bowl of pumpkin soup from packet or powder tin, tending to gluggy pap, slightly larger sandwich with sliced ham and packaged grated cheese – tea with milk.

Soup for Lunch not bad
Hospital food IMG_1201 soup for lunch [Gurglars 1.5.16] 1

Dinner – if it looks like a ….
Hospital food IMG_1206 main [Gurglars 1.5.16] 1

Compass’s savings will come from quantity savings, also I would guess if you added that lot together without labour cost the total would be less than $2. Total of slices of bread, 2 slices of ham, one butter, 2 marmalade, 2 heaped tablespoons of tinned soup.

Looks like I’m in here for another day or so, so an update is likely.

REPORT 2 (Dunedin Hospital)

Received from Gurglars
Sun, 1 May 2016 at 5:52 p.m.

It’s official folks, the resident subversive who had to almost croak to get a chance to review the SDHB food has done it.

I understand I’ve been awarded the VC* for twice endangering my life in the service of my adopted country.

When, I came here to NZ in 1972, I noticed two strange things:

1. The beer and soft drinks were kept in the old English manner – sans Fridge, drunk lukewarm and VB was unavailable.

2. There was only one restaurant in Dunedin, the Huntsman which is still there and a tribute to steak lovers worldwide. There was La Scala but in those days it was a bit exxy for me. In other places in New Zealand the food was dreadful.

Fast Forward to the internet age and Dunedin boasts some three Michelin star quality eateries and a myriad of great food palaces where one cannot spend $10 for lunch and should be charged $50 for the quality.

So we come to Compass, think New Zealand just after the war, canned tuna, cooked to tastelessness with some frozen carrots and other mixed veges of a frozen variety and some boiled silverbeet stalks and two white sweet potatoes boiled to submission and some edible mashed potato. I was prescient when I said in report one that take what I said without a grain of salt or pepper or margarine or butter.

Pap has been mentioned and Pap it is.

Oh and I forgot the dessert (sweets to me). A bright green jelly that tasted as bad as it looked and a packaged icecream which is bloody hard to stuff up unless you do not freeze it.

Looks like Lime! Dessert
You wouldn’t swim in it for fear of contracting brucellosis
Hospital food IMG_1207 lime jelly [Gurglars 1.5.16]

Icecream- runny! Use-by date 31/4/2016 (served to patients 1/5/16)
Hospital food IMG_1208 icecream [Gurglars 1.5.16]

If I’m still here tomorrow and apparently that’s no surety they’ll have another chance, but one must say in finality a couple of conclusions–

Neither Mrs Coleman senior or junior can boil an egg and probably burn water and the Mr Coleman bill at Bellamy’s is a tribute to his parsimony because he doesn’t have a bloody clue what food should taste and look like to be palatable.

*The VC to those who do not know is the Valid Comment awarded only to those prepared to give their lives to truth and exposing the American Way (Now that Trumped you didn’t it!)

Hospital food IMG_1209 dinner menu [Gurglars 1.5.16] 1Menu showing FULL Meal relates to Tuna stew (have I spelled that correctly?)

whatifdunedin says: In the time before this CRIMINAL Compass Outfit came to bear the daily meal sheet was descriptive for each meal, and very tempting – and Fun – for patients and their families and friends to help complete. We exaggerate Not. The Compass printout for patients is APPALLING.

SO ANGRY

Related Posts and Comments:
8.4.16 Worsted
23.12.15 SDHB underfunded, no bandage
3.11.15 SDHB will ‘takeaway’ more than freshly cooked meals…
30.10.15 Dunedin Hospital #despair
17.6.15 Southern District Health Board sacked !!!
9.6.15 Southern District Health Board
16.4.15 Talk of replacing SDHB with commissioner
21.8.14 Dirty pool? #SDHB #University
6.8.14 Otago Therapeutic Pool at Dunedin Hospital
1.5.14 Dunedin Hospital buildings SORRY STATE
5.12.13 Swann case: ODHB/SDHB and friends

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

129 Comments

Filed under Business, Democracy, Dunedin, Economics, Hot air, Name, People, Politics, Public interest, SDHB, Travesty