Tag Archives: Satire

Site Notice

A Number of Short Videos by animator and cartoonist Douglas Field, formerly embedded at the What if? Dunedin website are no longer available for viewing. The author was contacted after holes suddenly appeared in What if? posts and comments.

It turns out Douglas had committed to a spot of housekeeping at his YouTube channel and the links were lost.

Because of healthy, greedy, viewer interest in Douglas’s craft, and the utmost value we place on the political satire, joy and reach he stirs, Douglas has generously offered to upload the animations when he has time.

Douglas, you have No Idea how much we miss your “subtle” characterisations and “situational histories” —COME BACK Douglas Field lololol

GIF files

The Delta Affair by Douglas Field 23.2.16

The Kingmaker acts [Douglas Field 25.2.16]

Besides, Douglas, it’s ELECTION YEAR. We’re Desperate.
Madness has to be tracked.

Douglas Field's room with Easter Egg [liveinternet.ru]

No rednecks, according to MickyW.

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

Election Year. This post is offered in the public interest.

6 Comments

Filed under Baloney, Business, Coolness, Democracy, Design, Dunedin, Economics, Finance, Heritage, Hot air, Media, Name, New Zealand, People, Pet projects, Politics, Public interest, Travesty

Cycleways and scattered nails

bike - fixed gear track racing [humancyclist.wordpress.com] 1

### radionz.co.nz 24 June 2016 at 9:23 pm
RNZ News
Cycleway truce called as review set up
By Michael Cropp
Wellington’s beleaguered cycleway programme will not be getting the shot in the arm some were hoping for – instead it will be reviewed, refreshed and recommissioned. The outcome of that process – a ‘refreshed cycleways programme’ – would go to the Wellington City Council’s transport committee in August, the council announced today. Meanwhile, Island Bay Residents’ Association had reached a truce with cycling advocates and councillors, and was planning to start on its own consultation. A New Zealand Transport Agency report this month on the council’s ability to implement its programme stated the fallout from the Island Bay project had jeopardised the council’s other cycleway initiatives, and had eroded the public’s faith in the council. It said the council had lost the confidence of officials and ministers. Today’s announcement was intended to provide a pathway to regaining that trust.
Read more

IDEAS !!!!

nails 1 [hdwires.in]

Earlier this year, nails were scattered on the cycleway and the local residents’ association threatened a rates revolt if it wasn’t dug up.

### radionz.co.nz 1 June 2016 at 6:44 pm
RNZ News
WCC told it let spokes fall off cycleway plan
By Michael Cropp
The way Wellington City Council conducted the rollout of a controversial cycleway in Island Bay has hurt its city-wide ambitions for the bike routes, an independent review has found. The report into the city’s cycleways, which was commissioned by New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA), concluded people felt the path in the southern suburb was a poor solution that was delivered without proper community engagement and consultation. It recommended it be reviewed and modified after further community consultation.
Read more

Read the report commissioned by NZTA (PDF, 1.3MB)

Related RNZ stories:
Legal costs mount in battle over Southland cycleway
Modified Hutt Rd cycleway plans welcomed
Capital cycleway faces strong opposition

****

Meanwhile at Dunedin…. plodding incompetence. A recent series of city council-led (earworms: Spokes Dunedin and NZTA) technical planning and cycleway construction FAILURES, at Exorbitant Expense forced on Ratepayers. All this while South Dunedin core infrastructure maintenance and upgrades received little if no DCC attention, ultimately leading to Council-fuelled multimillion-dollar flood damage. And now, the ODT Editor exhibits gut-wrenching Cheek to devoutly urge DCC to YES, Build Cycleways!

Fri, 24 Jun 2016
ODT Editorial: Learning from cycleway errors
OPINION After a long year of construction, mistakes, remedial work, wasted money and public dissatisfaction the South Dunedin Cycle Network has finally been shunted down the council’s cycleway queue. In an Otago Daily Times report this month council infrastructure networks general manager Ruth Stokes said she could not say when the South Dunedin network would be completed. The new focus, she said, was to employ the limited available resources on fixing the Portobello Rd cycleway and the central city network.

“Build them well, build them smart and build them efficiently.” (ODT)

SPOKES Dunedin speaks out for cycling in Dunedin, New Zealand and represents everyone who rides a bike or would like to ride a bike in the city. SPOKES is a local volunteer cycling advocacy group founded in 1996 as an affiliate of the New Zealand Cycling Advocates Network. SPOKES Dunedin is an incorporated society registered under the Incorporated Societies Act 1908.

bike dog jun co-passage [hbr.org]

We look forward to working with the Dunedin City Council to develop a real cycle network for Dunedin. (Spokes)

God Almighty! Read this:

█ SPOKES DUNEDIN SUBMISSION ON DRAFT 2016-2017 ANNUAL PLAN
Posted on April 6, 2016 by spokesdunedin

Summary
A change of scope is needed for Dunedin’s cycling network, but it is unclear what the DCC’s change in scope actually means, and higher standard cycleways are only part of the story. Spokes Dunedin has a vision for successfully realising the cycle network. We want everyone to be able to cycle from North Dunedin to South Dunedin, out both sides of the Harbour, and through the tunnels to Green Island and Mosgiel on a connected framework of city-spanning arterial routes that are safe, direct, and convenient to use. This will focus work where there is a clear need for improved safety rather than on streets that are already relatively safe, and will create a solid initial network that can grow and develop in response to future demand. The great thing is that there already exists some cycling infrastructure on many of the routes for this initial network. Several things can be achieved by the end of this year that will help Dunedin catch back up to where it should be.

To do in 2016
1. Support NZTA to begin construction of the SH1 separated lanes by the end of this year.
2. Fix Portobello Road – it’s already been two years. We don’t need fancy landscaping, we just need the median barrier realignment so the road looks like a road and the cycleway looks like a cycleway.
3. Complete the Wharf/Roberts intersection as agreed – it’s already been two years. This intersection presents an identified safety risk on a high demand route.
4. Continue the SH88 path through the rail corridor to the railway station, thereby providing an alternative to the cycle lanes on Anzac Ave (heavy freight route and high risk).
5. Create a separated cycle lane from the intersection of Andersons Bay/Strathallan, along The Oval, to Crawford Street in place of the existing cycle lane between two lanes of fast-moving traffic.
6. Develop plans for a separated cycle lane on North Road and safety improvements for the Opoho intersection to tie in with NZTA’s forthcoming separated cycle lanes on SH1. This route is of very high strategic priority.

Introduction
Dunedin is a pro-cycling city, where a significant proportion of the population regularly cycles for recreation, transportation, or both. Year after year, cycling is one of the most strongly supported and heavily submitted-on topics in the annual plan. One of the biggest public consultation events in Dunedin history was held in 2013 regarding the proposed SH1 separated cycle lanes. In addition to widespread media coverage, NZTA and DCC staff solicited input from the public at information booths in busy locations including the Golden Center, Toitu, and the University. With over 2000 written submissions and roughly 800 survey responses, the SH1 separated cycle lanes received one of the highest response rates of any topic ever consulted on. The result was overwhelming support for the proposed separated cycle lanes. Independently, the AA undertook a survey of their local membership, with over 70% of the nearly 1500 respondents supporting the proposed separated lanes. The overwhelming public demand and support for better cycling in Dunedin cannot be denied.
In response to this demand, the City rightly undertook to develop a Strategic Cycle Network. But the South Dunedin portion of the cycle network has not delivered on the ambitions of the cycle network plan adopted in 2011. Nothing has progressed in the last year, leaving half-finished elements scattered around, with other things ripped out without consultation.
Some might argue that we should throw up our hands in despair, abandoning the possibility of future success under the fear of past failures. But others know that setbacks are par for the course when charting new waters and trying new things. Where would we be if the likes of Cook, Columbus, or Magellan had turned around after the first storm and torn sail? Those leaders stayed the course, their sailors gained experience, and they ultimately changed the world.
Read more

“SPOKES, CYCLE-SAIL OFF THE EDGE OF THE WORLD WHY NOT”
Sail wagon [en.wikipedia.org] 1

█ For more, enter the terms *cycle* and *christmas present* in the search box at right.

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

Election Year. This post is offered in the public interest.

*Images: (from top) humancyclist.wordpress.com – fixed track racing | hdwires.in – nails | hbr.org – bike dog jun co-passage | en.wikipedia.org – sail wagon

19 Comments

Filed under Business, Cycle network, DCC, Democracy, Design, District Plan, Dunedin, Economics, Education, Finance, Geography, Health, Housing, Infrastructure, Media, Name, New Zealand, NZTA, OAG, Ombudsman, People, Pet projects, Politics, Project management, Proposed 2GP, Public interest, Resource management, South Dunedin, Sport, Tourism, Town planning, Transportation, University of Otago, Urban design, What stadium

Dunedin [video animation removed]

Updated post Thu, 24 Mar 2016 at 12:26 p.m. | Last updated at 8:19 p.m.

SITE NOTICE

The video animation by Douglas Field published at YouTube on 20 Mar 2016, entitled ‘The witless witch-hunt’, has been removed from this post where it was embedded; due to a complaint received from Dunedin City Council [voicemail received 10:19 a.m.; message cleared 12:07 p.m.].

The part text (after the break) was supplied by Mr Field to accompany the animation. The video can be viewed at the Douglas Field channel on YouTube (enter video title in the YT search box).

Reasonably, fairly, the text and video may be regarded as democratic political thought and free expression, a public commentary concerning well-documented events from world history. The text and video are not deemed to be upsetting or offensive to any local party.

Although some associated Comments at this thread have been moderated or removed as a caution and protection to the site owner, any attempts to unfairly ‘influence’, harass or threaten the site owner and contributors to What if? Dunedin will not be tolerated.

[Douglas Field]

The Spectator
The slow death of free speech
How the Left, here and abroad, is trying to shut down debate — from Islam and Israel to global warming and gay marriage
Mark Steyn 19 April 2014

The examples above are ever-shrinking Dantean circles of Tolerance:
At Galway, the dissenting opinion was silenced by grunting thugs screaming four-letter words. At Mozilla, the chairwoman is far more housetrained: she issued a nice press release all about (per Miss Alcorn) striking a balance between freedom of speech and ‘equality’, and how the best way to ‘support’ a ‘culture’ of ‘diversity’ and ‘inclusiveness’ is by firing anyone who dissents from the mandatory groupthink. At the House of Commons they’re moving to the next stage: in an ‘inclusive culture’ ever more comfortable with narrower bounds of public discourse, it seems entirely natural that the next step should be for dissenting voices to require state permission to speak.

Douglas Field's room with Easter Egg [liveinternet.ru]

[public domain]

Mon, 21 Dec 2015
ODT: Contract fraud call at DCC
Dunedin city councillor Lee Vandervis’ actions will form part of a fresh fraud investigation inside the Dunedin City Council, after he claimed to have paid a backhander to secure a council contract. […] The move came after Cr Vandervis, speaking at last Monday’s full council meeting, sparked a furious exchange after claiming he had given “personal evidence” of his backhander to Mayor Dave Cull.


Vandervis statement around the 1.25 mark

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

*Image: Douglas Field’s room with Easter Egg [liveinternet.ru] tweaked by whatifdunedin

24 Comments

Filed under Democracy, Media, People, Politics

Bloody DCC —superlative cost blowout #cycleways #SUCKS

#GreaterDunedinNOTsustainable
#DaveCullNOTsustainable
#KateWilsonNOTsustainable
#JintyMacTavishNOTsustainable
#CouncilStaffManagersNOTsustainable

Cycling [screenshot at YT].jpgNo photograph of Kate in lycra could be found. The Mayor and MacTavish were both camel shackled when our photographer called (say no more).

### ODT Online Thu, 22 Oct 2015
Dunedin cycleway cost blowout
By Craig Borley
Building Dunedin’s cycleways could cost “three to four times” more per metre than first thought. That news was delivered to the Dunedin City Council’s infrastructure services committee this morning by the council’s infrastructure and networks general manager Ruth Stokes

The committee voted to continue with the rollout of the network, ensuring the design and finish were of the more expensive, higher quality option.

Read more

█ Council Reports available at What if? via (12.10.15)https://dunedinstadium.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/dcc-cycleways-now-tied-to-more-urban-design-spend-after-rehash-numero/#comment-66330

Sandy Graham advises there is one amended page (item 6 ph 6.8) – a map was altered for clarity. The website copy will be updated with the amended page.

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

*Image: [screenshot] youtube.com – Cycling Training Program – Crashing on a bike

57 Comments

Filed under Business, Construction, Cycle network, DCC, Democracy, Design, Economics, Geography, Media, Name, New Zealand, NZTA, OAG, Ombudsman, People, Politics, Project management, Property, Site, Sport, Tourism, Town planning, Transportation, Urban design, What stadium

Cr Kate ‘Cycleways’ Wilson —(disingenuous) fails constituents

█ Cr Kate Wilson says cycleways will bring myriad benefits to Dunedin.

ODT Online Sat, 25 Jul 2015
Why Dunedin is investing in cycling
By Craig Borley
Dunedin appears divided over the cycle network. Some see it as unnecessary. Others see it as vital. ODT reporter Craig Borley spoke to Dunedin city councillor Kate Wilson, chairwoman of the infrastructure services committee, about why the city is investing in cycle infrastructure.
Read more

█ The Dunedin City Council is sleep-walking to yet another poorly thought out cycleway project. (ODT)

### ODT Online Thu, 20 Aug 2015
Time to put brakes on cycleway
By Hilary Calvert
OPINION Somehow, the Dunedin City Council has been so beguiled by the gift-horse that is the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) that it seems to have completely forgotten to carry out its proper role of looking after the interests of the citizens of Dunedin in respect of the State Highway 1 cycleway plans.
Read more

ODT 26.8.15 (page 8)
– shot in a half-lit Dunedin café off the beaten cycle paths

ODT 26.8.15 Letter to editor Wilson Diehl Hopkins p12

█ Proposed: Separated cycle lanes to run along north and south one way routes, between Botanic Garden and Queens Gardens.

### ODT Online Thu, 10 Sep 2015
Dedicated cycle lanes get closer
By Craig Borley
Nationally-funded separated cycle lanes along Dunedin’s one way system are now two steps closer as the project moves swiftly through the New Zealand Transport Agency machine.
Read more

NZTA said it had resolved to:
• Incorporate high turnover short term parking for businesses, particularly those reliant on short stay kerbside parking and deliveries
• Incorporate medium term parking close to the hospital and museum.
Updated plans were now being prepared to show where the parking would be included. The plans will be available for public comment at the end of the month.

ODT 11.9.15 (page 16)

ODT 11.9.15 Letters to editor Hopkins Pillans Oaten (1) p16

Related Posts and Comments:
● 3.9.15 Dunedin support for extensive cycle lanes and Free bicycles
● 22.8.15 DCC cycleway$ now tied to more ‘urban de$ign’ $pend….
● 18.7.15 DCC Cycleways: SEEING RED, apology NOT accepted
● 10.4.15 DCC cycleways propaganda continues #SpendSpendSpend
20.3.15 DCC Shame: First, John Wilson Dr … now Portobello Rd cycleway
11.2.15 Dunedin Cycleways: Pet project staff, ‘entitlement’? #irony
3.12.14 Cycling at Dunedin —boring debate, network spending continues #DUD
22.5.14 DCC Transportation Planning —ANOTHER consultation disaster
6.5.14 Roading network screwed by council staff
● 14.2.14 DCC: Broadband AND bicycles #fraudband speed
14.1.14 DCC: Hospital area parking changes #cyclelanes
5.1.14 Norman Foster: SkyCycling utopia above London railways #ThinkBig
24.12.13 Daaave’s $47 million Christmas present to Jinty. We’re paying.
4.12.13 Dunedin cycleways: Calvin Oaten greeted by DCC silence
17.11.13 Dunedin cycleways: Calvin Oaten’s alternative route
17.11.13 Cull and MacTavish… “Have you fixed the debt crisis?”
14.11.13 Cycle lane explosions and puncture kits (SPOKES grenades launch)
8.11.13 Dunedin Separated Cycle Lane Proposal [how to make a submission]
29.10.13 DCC (EDU) invents new job! [GigatownDunedin]
19.10.13 Cycle lobby games and media tilts
24.9.13 Mediocrity and lack of critical awareness at DCC [council reports]
8.7.13 Bloody $tupid cycleways and Cull’s electioneering… [route maps]
28.3.13 DCC DAP 2013/14: Portobello Harington Point Road Improvements
26.2.13 DCC binge spending alert: Proposed South Dunedin cycle network
22.2.13 DCC: Council meeting agenda and reports for 25 February 2013
31.1.13 Who? 2010 electioneering
21.11.12 Safe cycling -Cr Fliss Butcher
5.11.12 DCC, NZTA: Cycle lanes controversy

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

15 Comments

Filed under Business, Construction, Cycle network, DCC, Democracy, Design, Economics, Enterprise Dunedin, Geography, Hot air, Media, Name, New Zealand, NZTA, People, Politics, Project management, Property, Site, Sport, Tourism, Town planning, Transportation, University of Otago, Urban design, What stadium

Dunedin support for extensive cycle lanes and Free bicycles

### ODT Online Thu, 3 Sep 2015
Refugee crisis: ‘We’re not ruling out doing more’ – PM
The Government was considering fast-tracking a review of how many refugees it takes, Prime Minister John Key said today, as the humanitarian crisis escalates with millions fleeing war-torn Syria. A review of New Zealand’s refugee quota is scheduled for next year. NZME
Read more

Received from John Evans
Thu, 3 Sep 2015 at 7:21 p.m.

█ Subject: A Question

Why have Spokes, Jinty and all the other BHL (bleeding heart cycle proponents) not supported extensive cycle lanes and Free bicycles for placement at the Hungarian rail station.

The advantages:

● A gross saving of 250 Euros per capita (approximately $200 million just for German refugees) Rail Fares
● A solution to the problem of fitness amongst Syrian refugees
● More mosques for Germany and less for Hungary (and New Zealand)
(just in case this seems insensitive to you, there are 8 mosques in Auburn alone, a small suburb of Sydney)
● And finally, it would put the cycleways fairly where people want to go, not on foot or in a car from Hungary Station to Deutschland; not from South Dunedin where they are unwanted, to Dunedin where they are unused! 2.6% of commuters travel to WORK by bicycle in Dunedin? We know that is bull**it. It is possible that lazy Dunedin students living in North Dunedin ride a bike to university rather than walk and they cannot afford cars or parking fees, but give them a free car and car park and see how many cycle!

As to lecturers, from my experience the major contributor again to this queer behaviour is a desire to reduce cost of travel and parking, rather than some higher ideal.

[ends]

Santa [cycle-lane-2-copy1]Daaave’s $47 million Christmas present to Jinty. We’re paying.

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

2 Comments

Filed under Business, Construction, Cycle network, DCC, Democracy, Design, Economics, Enterprise Dunedin, Geography, Media, Name, New Zealand, People, Politics, Project management, Property, Site, Sport, Tourism, Town planning, Transportation, University of Otago, Urban design, What stadium

Vandervis identifies mayoral JUNKETS #China —with gloss from Aussie friends

█ Spent jet fuel makes the girlfriend cry.

“I really do wonder what the value is of all these trips overseas, especially when we have so many issues that need dealing with here at home.”
–Cr Lee Vandervis

### ODT Online Tue, 28 Jul 2015
Mayor’s China trip spurs clash
By Chris Morris
Dunedin Mayor Dave Cull is heading back to China later this year, but the trip has already sparked a fresh clash with one of his outspoken councillors. Mr Cull has been invited to attend the inaugural New Zealand China Mayoral Forum 2015 in Xiamen city, China, in September, at a cost to the council of about $8000.
Read more

Report – Council – 27/07/2015 (PDF, 111.2 KB)
New Zealand/China Mayoral Forum 2015

$8000? Don’t forget the mayor’s entourage, MikeStk….
[buzzz! Cling-on ALERT]

Meanwhile, Mayor Cull reflect…. with light shed on conduct across the Tassie.
Weddings, parties, opera, airfares, helicopters and limousines on the taxpayers later….

Link received from Australian Tie
Tue, 28 Jul 2015 at 10:44 a.m.

### canberratimes.com.au July 24, 2015
Bronwyn Bishop claimed Sophie Mirabella wedding trip as official business
By James Robertson
It was the scandal that quickly swept through a new government.
Soon after the Coalition was elected in 2013, Senator George Brandis became the first Abbott government minister forced to repay the public almost $1700 in expenses claimed to attend the wedding of shock jock Michael Smith. High-profile ministers Scott Morrison and Barnaby Joyce soon had to follow suit, repaying taxpayer money they claimed for travel to weddings. Prime Minister Tony Abbott himself repaid $1600 worth of airfares, car transport and allowances claimed for attending the weddings of two Liberal colleagues, Peter Slipper and Sophie Mirabella. “To avoid doubt, I paid the relevant money back,” he said in a warning to his colleagues. “That’s what people should do.”
One MP ignored the Prime Minister’s instruction, weeks of media coverage and public outrage at MPs’ habit of billing the taxpayer for trips to friends’ weddings. Embattled Speaker Bronwyn Bishop claimed $600 for return flights from Sydney to Albury for Mrs Mirabella’s wedding in 2006 – and she has never repaid the money, Fairfax Media has confirmed. Previously unreported documents released under freedom of information laws show Mrs Bishop told bureaucrats that the trip constituted government business.
█ [It gets worse. The Video is a must see.]
Read more + Video spoof

[screenshot] – credit: Canberra Times
Canberra Times 24.7.15 Bronwyn Bishop + Video Spoof 1 [screenshot]

Related Posts and Comments:
13.7.15 Jeff Dickie: Edinburgh tough, Dunedin (DUD)
21.5.15 DCC and LGNZ, total losersDCC and LGNZ, total losers
21.10.14 DCC adds staff positions, significant ratepayer cost
22.9.14 Daaave Dodo Cull —highly evolved from turkey
14.8.14 Mayor Cull’s reflections on Edinburgh #SisterCity #Junkets
23.7.14 Eddie Cull suffering lead singer’s disease?
21.4.14 Dunedin economic development strategy — low flying Year 1

Posted by Elizabeth Kerr

32 Comments

Filed under Stadiums